The Most Valuable Skill…
If you are like any ordinary human out there, you have skills and talents that you constantly hone and improve. For some, their skill might be drawing. For others, their skill can be sounding like a demented whale as they learn how to play the didgeridoo (I can already hear your neighbors scream “didgeridont!!”). Regardless of the skill, it is probably not as important as this skill which is by far one of the most important of them all: Learning to be happy with yourself. Yea, learning how to be happy with yourself is a skill and many people are crap at it. Now I know what you’re thinking. Whatever. This is some cheesy post that reminds me of Eat Pray Love I can just ignore and go back to watching funny cat videos. But you see ignoring the fact that you are not happy with yourself will lead to some major problems in your life. Let me explain.
The Anxiety Effect
Feeling depressed? Why don’t you just stop being depressed? There you go I just cured your depression please send me donations now for my selfless deed. Now before you slap me, understand I was joking. It does not work that way. You see the more you (or others) want you to stop feeling anxious or depressed the more anxious and depressed you feel because you can’t get yourself to feel better. Weird isn’t it? So now lets say you go about life, playing your horrendous demented whale flute, and you decide you want to be the best. Well to be the best it takes a bit of faith in yourself and a belief that you do deserve to be the best. In order to actually be the best, you need persistence. And in order to have persistence, you need to have confidence in yourself and your ability to grow. You will need to accept failures and take leaps of faith. Now how are you going to have all that when all you do is bring yourself down and tear apart your very core for being human? When all you do is focus on how you messed up everything? The main problem is you expect perfection from yourself. I better impress this powerful individual within 23.4 seconds and if they reject me I am horrible. Why did I say this or that to my ex and now they left me now I will be alone forever. Why didn’t I try to get that job in France? Now I am stuck here in Crap Town, Nevada forever. Why did I look at that chocolate cake for more than 3 seconds? I am just a failure who will break my diet eventually. I could go on and on. Listen to me. You are okay and you are not a failure. You did what you thought was best with what you knew then. You are a human doing the best you can in a society that was created by humans. Just breathe. I know it’s easy to live in that should’ve-could’ve-would’ve world but understand that doing that just makes you miss the opportunities you have now.
What Can Rivers Teach Us About Time?
Your life on earth is basically like a river flowing from a mountain. There is water coming towards you, aka your future. Water touching you right now, aka your present. And water that has flown past you, aka your past. Now, focusing and thinking on the past is like trying to fill your water bottle from this river using the water that has flown past you. Yea you can still see the water flowing away but its out of your reach! That water looks darn good but you are still dying of thirst are you not? In fact, looking at the water that passed is making you feel worse because you are thinking to yourself why didn’t I just grab the water when I had a chance? Now I will never be quenched. You will also start to look the the other direction and set your eyes on the water thats coming towards you from far away. But that’s just as bad because for all you know might never even reach you. In reality all you have to do is look down and see the water beneath you right now. You can drink from that!…and hopefully not die of dysentery but still! It is yours and it’s within reach! Are you going to just let this flow past you too while you look at the water thats gone or the water that is yet to come? Live in the moment.
Accept that you are a horrible person sometimes. You overreact and blew up or stayed silent when you should have spoken up. You did and still do things you shouldn’t and you are not always an upstanding citizen 100% of the time. You hurt someone, let someone down, broke someones heart, didn’t follow your diet on and on. Accept that you maybe didn’t achieve everything you wanted to by this age. Just accept, don’t judge and don’t blame either. Blaming keeps you stuck. Accepting and forgiving yourself for your own short comings will set you free. Know your own limitations and your weaknesses and just focus on being a stronger version of yourself. Letting go of this ridiculous “I need to everything right or else it’s over” mindset is what will allow you to just be happy with who you are and in turn will actually help you get what you want on a much more consistent basis.
Right Place..Wrong Time
Know that though something did not turn out the way you wanted it too does not mean it is a bad decision. Imagine yourself rolling a dice. The numbers 1,2,3,4,5 are going to give you the thing you want but the number 6 will give you something you don’t want. And darn it. You did something and rolled a 6. That does not mean that your judgement or decision was bad. There is a difference between a bad decision and a bad outcome. Having a bad outcome just means that you did what you thought was the right thing but life just happened. All you can do is learn from it and move on.And even if what you thought was right was wrong so what? Any action that leads to growth is better than just sitting on your butt watching life go by. Kicking yourself for rolling a 6 is really useless cause you don’t control the dice. You only control your actions so just focus on that.
The Subtle Art..
I will end this post with something I have never done before. A book recommendation. The book I am talking about is just too good for me to not mention because honestly this book has changed my life. Though I am not 100% good with this just yet, I can easily say that The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k, is the best thing to read if you are struggling with yourself. It does have a lot of F bombs as the title might suggest but it is worth it. I also hear that the summary version is pretty good and alot cheaper but either way definitely a must read. UPDATE: Someone messaged me and told me the book is now actually free when you sign up for a free trial with audible so lucky you I am actually jealous cause I bought the book full price… Just click on the book link and select Audible and you’re good. And with that I will end this rather long post. Here is to you! (Yes you!)