Emotions Are Habits You Can Break By Singing Happy Birthday.

You Are Nothing Without Your Brain.

And in other news the sky is blue and healthy food is important. I am clearly on a roll with these discoveries. But no really. You are nothing without your brain, everything you perceive and feel happens in the brain. So therefore it should be no surprise that emotions are habits that are formed in your brain. How you feel about something is a habit you have gotten by repeatedly feeling that way and getting it burned into a pathway in your brain. This is why it is so much easier to break a belief early on than it is to break it after 40 years of believing it to be true. So when you feel jealous of someone for having a cool car, when you don’t feel good enough or angry at your girlfriend that she forgot it was your dog’s birthday know that it is a trained emotion. To fix it..you simply need to train your mind to feel something else. How? Read on..

Kno’ Yo’ Self

In order to truly understand why you feel what you feel about something, you must first understand when it happens. When does jealousy come in? When are you most unhappy in your relationships? When do you not feel good enough? For some it could be when they feel like they are not needed by others. I am not funny, strong, rich, *insert your adjective here* enough. Whatever your case is you must first be able to identify when these emotions occur. For me personally, I wanted someone else to make me happy, blamed others for my unhappiness, and I always tried to fulfill my emotional needs through others. Usually alot of the times it all starts from our childhood experiences where in some form or fashion we felt inadequate. So once you have figured out what it is that is causing those emotions you..

Learn What They Are Trying To Tell You.

In the book, When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron, (Great book by the way, I believe it is a #1 Best seller on Amazon.) there is a quote that expresses this best:

“Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news. But for practitioners or spiritual warriors—people who have a certain hunger to know what is true—feelings like  disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”

I did a post on why trying to avoid negative emotions is bad titled: Negativity is Not Always Your Enemy- Why The Self-help Industry Will Really Hate Me. (Shameless Clickbait Title) that you should definitely check out if you have a tendency to push down bad feelings. You need to know pain in order to know what happiness is but you also need to know why you feel the pain and what its trying to tell you in order to truly achieve your full potential.

I Am A Strong Independent 21 Year Old Who Don’t Need No Body..

Now that you have identified your feelings, understood what they are trying to teach you, its time to break some habits (*Explosion noise here*). The point of breaking these feeling habits is to form new and healthy feeling habits. You see all of our bad habits tend to be from the outside. We want someone to act a certain way, or have a situation to be something other than it is not. Whatever. The point is suffering is basically caused by when our reality does not match what our mind envisions. So in order to break free of this we must learn to become emotionally self reliant. People will come and go. Someone who is your “BFFFF4lyfe <3 ” will hate you tomorrow. It is your job to keep yourself afloat and happy not theirs.  You need to learn self love. Now self love is not what you have achieved, what level you got to on Candy Crush, or anything of the sort. It is true, unconditional acceptance of yourself no matter how bad you messed up. It is understanding that you are human and you are the only person you will ever truly have forever. You tried your best with what you knew and you learned. You are a better person now. You won’t be perfect still but you will be you and that in itself is perfect for this moment and every moment to come and for every moment that passed. And now for the habit breaking method that helped me drill this in.

Ermagerd Ei Scrumble

This goofy little exercise has seriously changed my life. Its called eye scramble. Here is what you do:

  1. Identify you are feeling the emotion
  2. Cut the habit of this emotion by looking randomly around the room (I prefer looking top left, bottom right, top right, bottom left, middle) The order really doesn’t matter just look around the room randomly without moving your head. Do this fast..but not to the point where you get dizzy.
  3. While you are moving your eyes hum the tune of your favorite song or anything of the sort out loud. Happy birthday works for me.
  4. Do this for as long as you feel the need to. Usually 2 times works for me..I know it will make you feel silly but trust me it works.
  5. Now when you feel normal..close your eyes and imagine yourself standing in front of a mirror or go to a mirror in real life.
  6. Tell yourself ” Even though I feel *insert your emotion here *  because *insert situation here* I love and accept myself as i am.
  7. Keep repeating this over and over again until you feel this sense of..wholeness inside you.
  8. Test your stability by giving love to the person who least deserves it. For example if the reason of your pain was your boss.. imagine him being successful in his business. Imagine that he goes home to tell his wife of all the sales that he made and they are both so happy. Be happy in their happiness. When you truly feel that good feeling..that is when you are free.

Eye Scrambles And You..

So as a bit of an explanation. The reason this method works is that your brain looks a certain direction when accessing a memory. So when you look all around the room frantically while humming your favorite tune your brain path that accessed the emotional habit gets..scrambled. And this lets you rewire that habit into something more happy. And this lets you feel good by yourself without needing anyone. Try this out and you will seriously see your life changed. You will be able be happy in the happiness of others. Send this article to people who need it because this technique needs to be learned by alot more people. Good luck! And happy scrambling!

 

3 comments

  1. Let me say you’re REALLY on to something. You either have done some work with very experienced, thoughtful people or – if you’ve arrived at all this yourself – are beyond remarkably intelligent for your age. The whole article is an absolute bullseye; the part that struck me the most was how negative emotions are excellent guides – we just have to put aside making ourselves wrong, and assess what those negative emotions point to objectively. Seriously high-proof wisdom there. Cheers

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