Why The Concept Of One Soul Mate Is Stupid – Rejected? Broken up? You Will Find Another.

This Is An Article And A Mini (but well meaning) Rant…A Ranticle

So one of the most eye opening things I have come to realize in this short existence of mine is that we as people have been sold the biggest lie of all time. The concept of finding “the one” (*insert cringe romantic music*). People are told that there is one person made specially for you and if you have not found that person yet please wait for the rest of your life. Shipping people to their right recipient takes time…addresses get mixed up..same names are a big issue. Jokes aside, people are waaay too naive and hopeful when it comes to this stuff. Honestly it is not their fault though. Culture and society loves to shove all this down our throats.  Now don’t get me wrong I am all for love and relationships and what not but there needs to be a dose of reality. A more..practical approach. And what better a person to give it to you than a 21 year old kid eh? Read on!

There Was Once A Boy And A Girl..

The book that really drilled in this truth for me was: How To Be A 3% Man, Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams. This book has some pretty good stuff for men and women in it but the most mind blowing of concepts I never thought of was this: Think of your favorite romantic movie (please not Twilight), tv show or whatever. The main plot is basically how there are these two people and that no matter what happens if its meant to be its meant to be. They will always somehow end up together and with no one else. Love will find a way and the birds will sing and it will all be happily ever after. Now.. who do you think wrote that plot? Was it the olympic athlete who runs sprints for fun? The high performing entrepreneur who had made his first business by the age of 2? Probably not. It was just a writer whose job it was to entertain you and sell you a fantasy. Just like The Walking Dead, Avatar, Harry Potter, etc. You are putting your dreams on something a writer came up with to entertain you? I don’t see too many people running into pillars at train stations trying to find the way to Hogwarts.. do you? (if you do please take a video and send)  Your life isn’t a movie. Sometimes relations are not meant to last or even start in the first place. There are simply way too many people out there for you to be hung up on one person. 

What Can Marbles Teach Us About People?

Here is another way to look at this whole soul mate thing. Imagine a jar of the most beautiful marbles you have ever seen. They are all equally beautiful in your eyes. You pick up one and you choose it and walk away. And you bond with it..like a normal healthy human would bond with a marble..no idea how. Then, when I bring you back to that same jar of marbles one week later, you will say your marble is special and better than all these marbles. Why? Before then they were all equally the same so what changed? Let me tell you. The marble you picked, you spent time, shared feelings and had good times with. But notice this. YOU were just as responsible for creating that beautiful relationship as that marble. You could have picked any other marble and you could have made those memories and had fun. So..why can’t you do it again and this time maybe learn from that relation and do it better? People tend to focus too much on the other person. THEY made the relationship good. THEY made the relationship fun. No. You were just as involved in creating those times. Those memories had your touch..your energy with them. Do you think if I dated your “soul mate” (please don’t hurt me it’s all in the name of teaching you) we would have had the same memories and times? No because they would have my touch and energy.

What Can Ammonia Teach Us About Relationships?

To further emphasize on my point from above lets take a look at chemistry. Now it has been years since I have taken chemistry but one of the things that fascinated me were chemical formulas. One of the formulas I remember was that of ammonia (no idea why) but from what I recall ammonia is: NH3. Meaning one atom of nitrogen and three of hydrogen. Lets say you are hydrogen and they are nitrogen. (Notice how I made them one of the most abundant elements on the planet..I just noticed this myself) Now you broke up with that nitrogen and now you’re just a H3 living in a H3 world. Is it not possible for you to find another nitrogen.. aka someone with the same characteristics as that nitrogen and bond with them? Of course it is. I am not saying it is that easy of course but it is entirely possible. We just need to stop buying this crap of one true love and just live. Meet new people and identify those that are incompatible and stop lying to ourselves that we are happy and move right on. Trust me this is a very bitter pill to swallow. How do I know? I just lost the person I thought was the love of my life to a stupid misunderstanding in February (yay for the new year). Realizing this has made the recovery process so much easier. Yes I still hurt and so will you if you lose someone really close but you don’t need to be trapped in this suffering for longer than needed. There’s a quote I can’t remember from where I heard it but it goes something like “If you are going through a bad time..then keep walking.”

What Can Apples Teach Us About Soul Mates?

Now here is a favorite I have noticed from time and time again. My ex was special like no other. I can never find anyone like her. This is the equivalent of saying the last apple you had was the best apple ever. Now this apple you had I have no doubt is great. But to call it the best..you must be a fanatic of apples. You must be the Apple Whisperer..  How many types of apples have you had? ALL of them? Gala, red delicious, pink, green, jazz?..thats all the apples I know.. but point is you seriously cannot say that someone is the best or really special until you have had a fair sample size. And by fair sample size I mean a fair percentage of men or women of your type. So just realize that though it may have been great..unless you’ve dated like 9000 people you really cannot say you will find nothing better.

 

It’s Not You Or Me.

The hardest part about all this is regret. You just wish time would go back to that day or before you ever met them or whatever. Life just doesn’t work that way and you did the best you could with what you know and believe and so did they. Blaming and wishing keeps you stuck. Just accept that it happened the way it happened and learn. The most important part is that if you don’t want this to happen again.. LEARN from what happened. It is time to let go of all the negative feelings and learn to love yourself. I wrote a post on this that I think you should check out titled: Emotions Are Habits You Can Break By Singing Happy Birthday. Check it out and until next time!